My Memories of Jesse

I have not seen or heard from him for way too long, but it’s not his fault. Every time I think of him, I could almost see his face so clearly. He stood 5 foot and 9 inches tall and had big brown eyes that blinked a lot due to a nervous habit, and he had a smile that can be seen from a distance. His hair was always groomed well, but then with a ton of moose on his hair, I doubt a strand of hair would come out of place. When I would describe him to others, I would tell them that he looked like a smaller version of “the Rock”. Jesse was always a great dresser. Even when he went to the pier to go fishing, he always looks like he was ready to go out for a casual luncheon. Maybe that is what he was trying to tell the fish, that they would join him for lunch. He was the youngest of seven children and had the most positive and outgoing personality. Jesse has always been active since he was little, I can remember how hyper he was. Always on the go and couldn’t stand to be still. He loved exercising and lifting weights to keep in shape, and I think that’s what kept him from being to hyper. Jesse didn’t wear a lot of jewelry, but he did wear a necklace, watch and his wedding ring. He was a very sociable person and he had many friends. If someone needed help, he would offer a hand. When our family would have a bar-b-q, he was there helping, joking around and having fun with everyone. I remembered when I would call him, the first thing he would say is yellow and I would say blue? It was a running joke between the both of us. It’s funny how I have four other brothers and they call me sis, but Jesse called me shissy. I do miss him calling me shissy, in that even tone voice of his. Sometimes while driving, a Prince Song would play on the radio. I would remember how he and I would imitate a dance he did from a video called “Kiss”, and we would do a “spoof” dance as a joke. Many of my memories of him were always dancing. He did a little dance number during one of my Halloween parties I had. My husband had built a cardboard coffin, and he came out of it and did a dance from “Thriller”, wearing a monster mask. It was great and everyone loved it. It’s funny that our relationship started with me being like a mother to him. All three of my older siblings left and I was left behind to help take care of my three younger brothers. I was the middle child, but when the three older siblings left home, I became the oldest. My three younger brothers always thought they had to protect their 14 year old sister. It was funny and yet I felt proud to see a 9, 7 and a 6 year old, surrounding me as if they were my guards. As Jesse got older, we got closer. If he saw me sad, he would find time to make me laugh, even if he had a bad day. We played around a lot. Like, when I would play punch him on his arms, he would say he was going to tattle on me. He would say he was a paid tattle tale, because he used to work part time with Dial Security. Besides remembering what an optimistic and playful person he was. What really made me proud of him was that he achieved his Associates Degree. Even with all the obstacles that he came across, he kept trying to achieve a better life for himself and his family. Jesse showed me that, if you keep trying, you can achieve your goals and this is why I decided to go back to school. We go through life thinking that, the older sibling is supposed to teach and guide the younger ones, and yet he ended up doing the opposite. I just wished that I could have been there more for him at the end, just like he was there for me, when I needed him. All I can do now is honor his memory, by making him proud of me. So I am trying to achieve my Associates Degree for my future, my family and in memory of Jesse. He has been gone now for five years and I miss him so. Rest in peace little brother, I love you.